My 20 month old toddler has started saying the word “Mom” just in time for Mothers Day but he has never really looked at me and called me “Mom” or “Mama.” I read online that sometimes they still think of themselves and their mother as the same person and see no separation; or that we are together so much that he never really has a reason to call my name. Sometimes I look at him and I see no separation between us too.

This past year consisted of a lot more soul searching and praying and new directions in life. Ive set Mothers Day to be a little annual marker for a reflective recap.

Toward the end of last year I had many hints and urges to pursue something outside of tattooing. It was a good time in life to start because tattooing was slowing down, we were moving to a new place and I still have a G.I. Bill to use from my past Army service. I didnt know yet what it was and I considered a lot of things like hairdressing or a career in education. I thought about what I feel my purpose is, what gifts I have that I can nurture, and what I would like to share with the world.

I remembered tools that I have found in my life that I would like to give to others that might be struggling. Ultimately Ive boiled it down to, I would like to help people enjoy and appreciate living. And pass on the ways that Ive come to point of feeling “Im happy to be here, (in my own mind).” …And how does one build that?

The works of certain speakers and authors helped lead me in the right direction throughout the years as I was doing “the work” on myself: Louise Hay, Marisa Peer, Dolores Cannon, Joe Dispenza, Joseph Murphy. What I gathered from all of them is that I hold the keys to my own life, that my thoughts are real, tangible things that can change reality. And that the way we speak to our own mind has very profound effects on our lives. Our beliefs are chosen, and if our current beliefs are not working out well for us, we can change them.

Marisa Peer and Dolores Cannon are hypnotists; the others all teach a form of self-hypnosis or auto-suggestion (affirmations) to regulate the nervous system, reframe old thought patterns, attitudes or behaviors. Joe Dispenza likes to say “re-wiring the brain” as if youre upgrading the software of your thoughts and de-installing old programs that are no longer compatible.

I recently filmed my first YouTube vlog talking about how I have used journaling for my mental health. I pulled out an old notebook from 2023. After the video I read back a page in it documenting one of the first hypnosis guided imagery journeys I did by Marisa Peer. She had us in a meditative relaxed state and imagine ourselves 3 years into the future. I wrote that I saw Joe and I still in a happy and healthy relationship (this was a month after we got together), living together somewhere new, possibly a new country. I saw myself giving birth to a beautiful healthy child and enjoying motherhood. All of that has come true now, almost to the T. I believe in the power of visualization to create new potential realities.

So, three years after discovering self-hypnosis, following the signs and synchronicities, I decided to become a hypnotist myself. I see no reason not to chase the things that fascinate me. Ive been attending the HMI College of Hypnotherapy and will be a Certified Master Hypnotist by next month ready to start my internship and start seeing clients remotely anywhere in the world. It’is an online college and surprisingly it has been the best and most efficient educational experience Ive ever had. If anything, it has made them meticulously tailor the program to be sure that the students are engaged with the material and has helped us become confident interacting live & speaking into a camera on Zoom since thats how most of us will be seeing clients. I never thought I would speak to a camera or post videos of myself talking, but now I dont really have to give it a second thought. Trying to focus on my message and not on the way I look or sound or how I think those should be. Maybe thats the key to having confidence? If I can watch videos of myself and listen to recordings of my voice without cringing anymore— thats just a testament to the power of the mind right there and how quickly we can make progress.

I have learned so much about myself through the program, with every lesson and every live session feeling like my own therapy. I feel like I found what Im meant to be doing, just like I felt when I found tattooing. And I feel like I found my people (again) in this community of fellow students and teachers. We share experiences, techniques, scripts, any tricks of the trade we find with each other. Because we all know that its never about us, its about our clients and how we can best support them.

Im excited for what this next year and next few months will bring. My message for you that I am also telling myself: If your soul is calling you toward something, I urge you to not ignore it! There is some unseen reason that we just do not know yet.

In honor of Mothers Day, go appreciate your Mother, create something, love something with all your heart. ❤